Be courteous. I swear to god that this should've been the golden rule. I mean really -- if everybody just followed this one goddamn rule 99% of our problems would disappear like a fart in the wind.
In practice: don't cheat others. Try to think about things from somebody else's point of view. Clean up after yourself whether you're in the park, in bed, or on the floor of the senate. Say thank you. Fully listen before speaking. Give others the respect you feel you deserve. RSVP. Don't waste other's time. And use your fucking turn signals.
Something is not the new something previous. 40 is still 40, black is still black. And new stupidity is still the same as the old stupity, just with a more banal and sophomoric catch phrase. Please stop.
You're not bound in any way to respect claims of magic. Spanx, viagra, boob jobs, pious politicians, 4 out of 5 dentists, talk radio, anybody's seal of approval, and dogmas of any stripe are ALL for sale and are intended to mislead the unwary for someone else's gain. Read the fine print: the only real magic is magical thinking.
And while we're at it:
- There's no such thing as reality TV unless you're watching C-SPAN.
- The rules to proclaiming your book a "New York Times Best Seller" must be looser than an old hooker or else we all read a lot of really stupid shit.
- Your family is never at risk and there's nothing you need to know now (well, right after the commercial break) according to your local news. They're whores. Ever...last...one...of...them.
- Sports are crooked. Watch them for fun, but for god's sake don't treat them like they're worth fighting or dying for.
- Men would listen more if women talked less; if men listened more, women would talk less.
- When you're out of ideas, shut up.
